The Berliner Blog #5

Contents:
- One Lonely Indian
- German TV
- Deutsch in Neukölln

One Lonely Indian

My guidebook told me it was worth a trip to KaDeWe (Kaufhaus des Westens – Department Store of the West), a seven-floor department store, if only for the gourmet food market on the sixth floor. Gourmet food? Say no more. Just a peek will do, no buying necessary. Apparently KaDeWe is Europe’s second largest department store, next to Harrod’s of course.

As I made my way up the escalator I was greeted by quite the sight: a tipi and an Native man in costume making crafts surrounded by maple syrup, Coffee Crunch chocolate bars, Icewine and animal skins. Then I noticed the massive pictures of the Rockies everywhere and fake, red maple leaves. No I hadn’t stumbled upon some weird transporter into a Canadian gift shop, this was part of a special exhibit showcasing the wonders of Canadian cuisine. Canadian cuisine? What the hell is Canadian cuisine? How can we have a cuisine when we barely have an identity as a people?

It made me sad that all we have to export as “Canadian” is Native Indian culture and sugary products. It just doesn’t seem right knowing our dodgy history with the Native Indians to be using them as a proud symbol of our country. It also shows how little we know of ourselves and our achievements, our arts (in my opinion our most important cultural export), our other peoples on the coasts, our French-Canadian culture and countless other things Canadian. Or worse, this is what the Ministry of Tourism believes is a healthy picture of the true Canada for the world to see. Right, like that’s exactly what people see when they come to Canada. And as for beer, the only kinds I saw were Molson Canadian and Moosehead – good show boys, those’ll really stack up next to the German beers!

So I went up and asked the nice Indian if I could take a picture of the tipi (I didn’t want him in it because I thought it would be too sorry a picture). We got to talking and it turns out he moved to Potsdam seven years ago from Alberta and now teaches about Indian culture in various places here in Europe. He has a German wife and a daughter, but doesn’t speak German. He looked lonely and happy to talk, not too many people were approaching him. He told me all the gigs he had done (some cheesy TV commercials, a TV show, a play – all as various American Indians), gave me some good places to go for English books and bison meat and said we should have coffee sometime. With a name like Murray Small Legs how could I refuse? I think he was happy to meet another Canadian. Oh, and there was a Mountie earlier in the week but she had to return to Canada.

The Ministry of Tourism didn’t have enough money to send anyone else and the tipi was Murray’s.

German TV

Here are some choice pics from my TV this evening. On one channel they have live Oktoberfest broadcasts (complete with men in lederhosen and ladies in dirndls!) and the next they have ads for dial-up sex chats (quite different from the ones in Canada where the girls keep their bikinis on and their hands to themselves).

Deutsch in Neukölln

My German friends always joke that I should be learning Turkish instead of German because I live in Neukölln and I think they might be right. Maybe learning German in Neukölln is like learning English in China Town. No offense to anyone Turkish or Chinese, I’m just trying to learn German.

The Berliner Blog #4

Contents:
- Wow, guess who’s back…
- Reminders

Wow, guess who’s back…

Last Sunday there was a vote. The city-state of Berlin and the eastern state of Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania held regional elections to very different results. Berlin re-elected their outgoing and popular mayor Klaus Wowereit (affectionately know as “Wowi” – pronounced “Voh-vie”), a gay party-going Social Democrat, as expected. The true shock came from Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania where the NPD party (National Democratic Party in English) secured 6 of the 71 seats in the eastern state’s legislature with a vote of 7.3 percent. Now this isn’t a party with a good past, it’s the new Nazi party. The NPD has cleaned up its image and traded in its uniform of shaved heads and boots with laces for suits and clean haircuts. They promise to bring jobs back to the horribly unemployed eastern state (who has Germany’s highest unemployment rate, 18%) while promoting German nationalism. People’s biggest fear has become a reality after the NPD was granted rights to be an official party in 2003 on the grounds that knowledge should prevail over far-right extremism. Jack Layton and his NDP were not involved in any way.

Reminders

In light of the recent elections in Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania, I think it’s a good idea to show you a bit of Berlin’s past. This is a city of reminders. People don’t want to forget the last hundred years and they don’t want to become complacent. Berlin has scars everywhere you look and memorials in every possible place. You simply need to notice them and remember.

The Berliner Blog #3

Contents:
- And the winners are…
- Rome vs Berlin

And the Winners Are…

The list is long and distinguished. Hordes are flocking to Berlin within the next year and the only logical reason… is me. Already two have popped by and at the same time! The winners are Robin Senior and Paul Fitchett (Robin was a day earlier so I guess technically he wins, sorry Paulie). The two winners were treated to hours of walking around, drinking, currywurst, a Goth bar, museums, Hitler’s bunker (now a parking lot) and the Olympic Stadium. Much fun was had by all. Who will be next?

Rome vs Berlin

The updates have been on pause due to a twelve day trip to Italy with the fam (ok, and some serious laziness). The eleven of us had an amazing time drinking too much wine, driving too fast through the windy hills of Tuscany and eating too much pasta – constipation was rampant!

The last stop for me was Rome. I loved Rome when I was there three years ago, in fact I loved most places I went and I think it was because I was so in awe of everywhere because it was all so new to me. The second time around proves very different. Then you start to see the city as it truly is - you’re not blinded by the sights. Rome was hot and busy and dirty and at every turn someone was trying to swindle you out of your money. There is no relaxing in Rome, you must be on guard at all times. I love the history and that will never stop to amaze me, but it leads me to believe that when a city, like Rome, is as important and famous for so long it looses its true charm because it no longer needs to worry about people coming to see it. Customer service goes out the window - who needs to be nice when it doesn’t matter if Joe Blow comes back to Rome or not? The death of a city is when it becomes a tourist trap.

Rome is all tourism, you can barely get a break from it. The only places to experience true Rome are the places the Romans go - who knew?! As my sister Ami, her boyfriend Dave and I experienced look in the non-tourist ‘hoods, find a restaurant with almost no décor or anything visually attractive to it, it should be packed with locals and the dozens of street musicians who play for your money while you eat should walk past it because they know the locals won’t give them money. Go to the area “Trastevere”, find Via dei Salumi and walk until it ends at Via dei Vascellari, it’ll feel like you’re in an alley. There you’ll find the best meal in Rome.

After Rome I was ready to get back to Berlin. I even missed Berlin - I think that’s a good sign. The only thing I’m not looking forward to is the day Berlin becomes the next big place to go.